Predictable stuff: relatioships
Today is a great day, because I finally got over my current relationship.
Great but not so great. I have a "dog personality" and I tend to get attached to people. I wish them their best, but at the same time, there is always a situation in which the other person has doubts and maybe goes too far and then it's basically over. Because I live by relatively strong morals, I never cheated, I don't ever plan to do it. Even if I don't like someone that much anymore I still try to give my best (though faking your best isn't quite the same thing).
I hold no grudge, I just want to get over with it. Men, especially those living in Japan, are a lucky bunch. It's definitely not a harem, but it's also very possible to get young cuties !
Living in the center of Tokyo surely has it's influence. If I feel sad, I can just get out and watch hundreds of cute girls showing off.
Of course, no cute girl can replace the woman you like.. looks is a relative concept but if I have to get through some pain, I'd rather go through the pain of having to know another person, to buy another expensive bag, rather than to have to deal with a screwed relationship.
Nobody is perfect, but when it comes to honesty, I'm very much close to perfection. I expect the same from anyone that wants a meaningful relationship with me..
I realize that I can't blame people for being forgetful of my tough rules. I realize that it's easier for women to be dubious: artistic mind, a lot more opportunities out there. But I'm not a woman.. I'm honest and very logical. Women come and try to make you believe that logic thinking is useless, that memory can be bent at will... I can't do this.. I wasn't born to do humble jobs. I can't seduce girls at clubs, I can't be a waiter, I can't subdue my intelligence to favor the whims of lesser capable minds.
I've already been free to code at will for a couple of months. Now I'm also free to hit on any girl I wish !! Fack yeahhh !!!
Oh.. BTW, my company's building is attached to a girl's fashion school. The other day I learned that it is actually a modeling school as well. And that girls come out practicing catwalk everyday (?) at a certain time of the day (^o^;;)
eheh
At this point some woman will say "you sexist asshole, how can you be so materialistic !!" ..my answer is: next time you want to break up with your bf, make really sure that you aren't making a mistake. Relationships are, sadly, a power struggle. I may seem weak, but I'm actually made of facking steel.. ...know your place, woman !
Learn to be logic or learn to be sad.
Booooom!!!! Find an Italian
Booooom!!!!
Find an Italian woman already!!!
Forget those asians.
You can say how much you like Tokyo and Japanese mentality all you want, but in the end you are a hairy European =)
Women are problematic no
Women are problematic no matter what country they come from (^^;)
Also I couldn't be with an Italian girl, because we'd be so different.. I didn't feel Italian 12 years ago when I left Italy, I feel much less Italian now. I don't know what goes on in the country, what people like nowadays, although I know that things don't change much over there.
It's cool to be Italian abroad, but otherwise, the country is worthless to me.
I wouldn't go for an "Asian" either. That is a definition that describes looks and Americanized people from Asia. Japanese, Chinese and Korean are otherwise much different. I'm attracted to Japan but I don't really feel special towards Korea or China.
Anyhow the story here got more complicated today. More drama, jealousies, cooking (which is always good) !!!
Also there are some funny details that I'll have to reveal in private... my stories are never simple !! 8)
Cultural clash
I just do not believe in cultural clash between different cultures when it comes to relationships. Somehow most of modern world civilizations approve same or similar values. With relationship it is more about being honest and being respectful for each other especially for the parts that are different.
Its not so much about
Its not so much about clashing, but having a common base.
It's important to be able to
It's important to be able to laugh together.
Fun and intelligence go together.. this is way it's so hard to seduce a girl that speaks another language.. but some girls are better at interpreting humor more than others.. and then the language barrier is not so big.
Seems like Japanese is a
Seems like Japanese is a tough language to master.
Also once you progress through the early stages of relationship you need to start dealing with external factors that affect both of you. Like making phone calls, filling out forms, opening accounts, etc etc.... And as a man you are expected to take active part in all that and make decisions. So language is again important.
It's hard to be a "safe
It's hard to be a "safe family man" when you have to ask your younger gf to help you with paperworks !
Though many times one could do it by himself with a little (or a lot) more effort.
Not so hairy...
He is shaving his legs daily to hide his real origin!!! And actually came to my mind how it goes with evolution... if for example Davide San and next generations of Davide Sans would shave daily, will finally the genome understand to give up body hair?
Like with those fishes who started coming to the land to finally turn into frogs... just curious :P
A Close Shave
You have a beard that you shave, does it mean that your ancestors didn't shave ? 8)
Wow ...
... it must be the season for break-ups or something ... 3rd one I've heard of in the last 3 days ... all breakups with Japanese ladies ... 8P The general impression I get is that if you're non-Japanese guy and you're dating a Japanese woman, there's a tendency that you're actually not just dealing with that person you're dating, but the influence of the opinions of her "circle". I mean, this is true for the world over, but I've noticed it's on a whole different level in Japan. Hence, one may experience a lot of odd things ... It ultimately comes down to communication and willing to be open and honest, but I've noticed that in these days that's not really the criteria any more.
Hey, at least you have more time to code ... and maybe finally update that PSX GPU plugin! (just kidding).
And how are you managing to
And how are you managing to avoid all that japanese women drama, mr Ragin? Or are you just a private person and don't talk about personal life? =)
he he he ...
I'm avoiding the drama simply by not taking part in it! 8P Too many cultural differences I guess. Maybe one of these centuries ...
You make a big deal of
You make a big deal of cultural differences, but how about relationships back in America ?
ええぇぇ?!
ha ha ha ... I was waiting for your comment ... 8P My comment was speaking for my own personal experiences. Seeing how I've a bi-cultural backgound there was already some cultural differences/friction I was experiencing but not as much as here in Japan. Of course, not everyone is the same, but I feel that Japan is really about the external image; some people can "evaluate" you simply by how or what you look like and categorize you based on that. It happens everywhere in the world, but at times I feel like it can be a bit intense here.
Ironically being here in Japan really made me realize how much both cultures that I grew up in have influenced me. I already had some troubles relating to others of American and my parents own cultural so you can only imagine the trickiness of being bi-cultural here. Actually, I've some bi-cultural Japanese friends (who grew up in America) who have trouble relating to the Japanese people here. Oddly, I seemed to get along best with those from Asia (India, Taiwan, China) than with most Americans, though I do have some close (white) American friends. There have been a few occasions that some Japanese friends I know commented on how "Japanese" I act ... I'm not sure what to make of this comment ... 8P
Speaking of America in particular, the same problems exist, but I think the environment in the U.S. gives a person more individual freedom to be who they want to be than here in Japan. At least in America, people generally immedicately categorize you as "foreigner" simply because you're from a different country. I suppose that's mainly because America is more of a heterogenenous society than Japan.
I think the thing is that when one is not in one's own "home" country or around people who are of the same cultural background, there is less pressure and less expectation to act . I know that I surely don't act 100% of either of the cultures I grew up in ... some days I feel like I have no culture or roots.
When I first moved here, I had a Japanese friend of mine (lady in college) who was telling me how her friends were strongly criticising her for hanging out with foreigners. When I heard that, I was initially surprised, but having lived here for a while, I can see the mentality behind that. I think since we're not Japanese it will be hard for us to appreciate some of the cultural pressures/mentality that go on here.
Well.. you definitely stand
Well.. you definitely stand out in a crowd of Japanese. Especially considering that you live in the traditional Kyoto rather than in Tokyo.
I wonder about Kyoto.. we'll see in a few hours ! ..Going to leave in a couple of hours (better hurry up !)
For relationships to go
For relationships to go well, one has to be strong and somewhat disinterested. Nobody likes a needy partner. It's a bit like loans: nobody gives you a cent unless you have at least 2 cents in the bank 8)
As for the changes.. a friend of mine theorizes that with the summer, hormones awake and confusion kicks in.
How do you say: 'strong and
How do you say: 'strong and somewhat disinterested' in Japanese?
tsuyokute, nantonaku ki ni
tsuyokute, nantonaku ki ni shinai hito （強くて、なんとなく気にしない人）
..or something like that 8)
I have to remember that !
Cool!!! Put it on a shirt
Cool!!!
Put it on a shirt and wear it when going out, and see what happens =)
I dunno if just writing it
I dunno if just writing it works.. but you never know !
ganbareee~
I just hope the decision you take won't lead you to any regret or depression.
I'd love to take part of one of your home-parties and praise your qualities to the new potential lucky one: you can count on that!
Good luck!
You can bet that I'm sad and
You can bet that I'm sad and depressed.
Breaking up sucks big time, but if the only way to avoid it is to give a arm and a leg (those that I have left 8), then it can't be helped.
I'm always open to compromises.. but I don't want to end up with a busy-couple kind of relationship.
I'm currently not really planning to get into another relationship (it would be too soon anyway), but as always, I'll be glad to accept your help ;)
Yeah man ...
... welcome back to the fold. 8P Please don't be too sad and depressed for too long.
Actually, I've seen this "busy-couple" relationship quite a lot lately (mainly coming from the ladies). I think a lot of the time it's not even necessary ... I surely don't have the bandwidth for that kind of thing ... or rather I refuse to burn bandwidth on it. My feeling is that if the folks are too busy to even spend quality time with each other, then they shouldn't waste each others time by getting into a relationship. A friend of mine recently broke up with his girlfriend ... she was always busy working (weekends too!) ... I only actually ever met her once in the many times I met my friend ... and strangely enough, she had to go back to work that one time I met her.
That's bullshit.. I saw that
That's bullshit.. I saw that before. The woman works on weekends, dates bosses and the guy fucks around.
That's bullshit !! Nowadays I just get pissed at people that live that sad life.
There are men and women, and then there are real men and real women !
I don't want to be a fake !!!
Man love rules OK :)
Just giving you a hint :P
could you try giving it in
could you try giving it in English now ? 8)
Mr Correct!
Just tried to tell you that you can always be gay :) Only a true and real man can understand a true and real man...... :P:P:P It does not work for me to try to understand women so I definitely gave up on that. I just try to take their perception of world as is.
If i were gay, I'd be either
If i were gay, I'd be either mr. muscle or be superfamous by now !
Unfortunately I'm too obsessed by pussy to be rational enough to make the best of myself !
I bet the same obsession is
I bet the same obsession is keeping you from learning the language of the country you chose to live in? =)
My Japanese is not that bad
My Japanese is not that bad !
..actually if I didn't care about women, I would probably have learned a lot less 8P
Cool, Just dont start saying
Cool,
Just dont start saying that you havent achieved as much because you are a normal heterosexual, and you could've achieved more if you were gay!!!
That doesnt sound very good!!!
Well.. you are right 8)
Well.. you are right 8)
Oh sad ...
... I hadn't (yet) heard about this type. In my friend's particular case, I think his woman was the "victim" of the "if the group is working all the time, then I'd better work all the time." My guess is that if she had stood up for herself, she would have been isolated by the others at her workplace. It was a bit of a worrying situation because (it seemed) that the overwork was beginning to take its toll on her health...
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